Some people thrive on chaos and you will too once you set off our Utter Chaos fireworks. Invite pandemonium into your next pyrotechnic show with these spin stabilized flying finless missiles. Unlike most missiles, there are actually not wings on these little guys, but they rise and spin none the less. Each firework in the pack of 6 spins on the ground and rises high in the air with green sparks and a "whooshing" noise. Capture the madness for your own backyard bash with a couple packs of these crazy fireworks. Comes in a pack of 6.
Posted by Al C on 30th Jun 2016
So a few years back a buddy and I drove out of state to get some decent fireworks. I went mostly for the ride, and to get two big pre-packed sets for the price of one.
Standing in the checkout line I see a package wrapper saying “Utter Chaos.” It looked like this:
Yeah, the name alone got me to buy a pack or three, each containing half-a-dozen of the little devils.
They live up to their name.
When I bought them I had no idea what they did, other than the label saying "Emits a shower of sparks." It could have been a fountain or a stick of dynamite. I learned from experience that the Utter Chaos is a 2” tall, 1” diameter spin-stabilized rocket "with report" (i.e., it goes "bang").
So on the 4th I went to launch these babies. We had a small concrete pad in the yard that we use to shoot fireworks of types that may or may not be legal here in the Commonwealth.
I placed the first one on the concrete pad and applied a flame to the fuse.
It ignites, and begins spinning and screaming. I’d guess it reached about 120 rpm (no shit, it was spinning like a top), screeching like a wheel bearing hit with 125 psi compressed air. (Ever done that? A friend did and discovered the hard way even wheel bearings have a revolution velocity where the cage fails. He had evenly spaced ball bearing bruises from his knee to his shoulder. But I digress.)
Then the main propulsion charge kicked in.
Holy Mother of God.
With a screech like a million fingernails on a blackboard it roars (and I mean ROARS!) into the sky. It was astonishing that so much fury and noise could be packed into such a small cardboard container.
Now after expending its propelling charge, it blows up, with the remaining confetti simply fluttering down to earth. Or it doesn't explode and becomes a hard ballistic object falling from about 100 feet.
Daughter-san, who was about 14 at the time, screams “DO THAT ONE AGAIN!”
So I do.
That was my mistake.
I place the second one on the concrete pad, apply the flame and hastily step back about 10 steps.
The start was just like the first one, spinning and screaming. Then the propulsion charge kicked in.
Did you know that in physics “chaos” is defined as “Behavior so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions”? I got one hell of a demonstration of chaos.
It lifts off about four feet, then turns almost 90 degrees from upright and roars past me, missing my noggin by just a foot or two. In doing so, it gave me no time to react, and scared the ever-living shit out of me.
Daughter-san, now joined by several of her friends who were present in the peanut gallery, screams “DO ANOTHER!”
Did you know that one definition of “insanity” is doing the same stupid thing over and over expecting a different result? Well color me insane. The way I figured it, the second one was defective. God knows the Chinese fireworks factory where they are made would never sell a completely unpredictable firework.
So, against my better judgment, Utter Chaos Three goes on the launch pad, and again I apply a flame to the fuse.
The start was just like the first two, spinning and screaming.
Then the propulsion charge kicked in.
Just as it fell over.
This time it doesn’t leave the pad in a vertical direction. Instead it roars off in terrain-hugging mode in the direction of my neighbor’s deck, where they are holding their annual “Come watch the nutcase rednecks try to blow themselves up” shindig.
Mind you, the neighbors house is easily 200 feet away, so I never anticipated anything we did would leave our property, much less go that far.
So, screeching like a thousand banshees, it tears through the air and crash lands directly in my neighbor’s bowl of potato salad. Thankfully, it did not explode. To say they were shocked and angry is an understatement.
I calmed them down and saved the day be agreeing to stop shooting things that flew, which wasn’t a sacrifice, since by that point I’d enough chaos in my life.
A few years later a friend and I took the remaining Utter Chaos' out on a boat and launched them.
You can guess how that went.
Posted by justin phillips on 18th Feb 2014
if you have money to buy this item I suggest doing so they are amazing with bright colorful bursts